This is automatic or semi-automatic writing...yes, semi-automatic, meaning my mind is not moving fast but slow: a condition perpetuated by darkness, rain, Virginia Woolf, and being a fat unemployed English graduate that has to worry about passing a piss test to get a job.

Where does this discrimination come from?

What form of logic?

A man can drink himself piss blind every day and still get a job but the man that prefers to smoke some marijuana gets treated like a scumfuck.

Who created the status quo so that businesses are required to act as parents or ubberhumans in deciding whether or not they want someone to work for them?

People, this is insane! Especially, since there are no hangovers with marijuana as opposed to booze. What choices do I have?
1. stop smoking marijuana
2. find a job that doesn't drug test(hello minimum wage)
3. substitute booze for marijuana

First off, number one is doable but it takes a month to get marijuana out of your system and not everyone has a month to sit on their thumb and starve until they pee Perrier.

Secondly, If someone knows of a company that pays a good wage with good benefits that doesn't drug test--please respond to this post.

As for number three, that's just substituting pain for pleasure.


This piss test segregation of the work force is only helping to perpetuate an anti-establishment subculture and indefinitely people who choose to smoke grass are stigmatized into believing they are criminals for wanting to use marijuana.

How many people have been killed by a man who is solely high on marijuana compared to a man who is highly inebriated? No one has been killed by marijuana.

Guns and marijuana...maybe(but this has further implications regarding the user that go beyond just the use of marijuana--i.e. social status, race, employment status. So as to avoid ambiguity, I mean to say that people who have to carry guns are probably not concerned with passing a piss test and the humanity of their situation is more often than not a situation similar to the Vietnam War).

So what does a man do?

Does he cheat the piss test? How so?

I know of various ways to cheat piss tests like putting bleach in your urine, using someone elses urine,....really, I don't see why you couldn't just use apple juice(warmed up in hot water from the sink).

Really, there is no way a scientist could deny that I am capable of urinating apple juice or consider this--Is the guy who collects piss all day really up-to-date on the chemical make-up of urine.? I know they use something similar to a litmus strip that reveals the ph levels and such in your urine but so what?

ATTN SCIENTISTS: What do they use to check for levels of THC? Or, what are they looking for?


This is my mission:

1. To try the apple juice experiment(I mean, really, they don't taste it. And so what...I eat a lot of apples.

2. To try the bleach experiment

3. To try the switcheroo expirement in which I use Mormon urine(really, mormons could make some money here selling piss on the internet. Better yet, what if I put a dab of holy water in my urine and it was found to have THC in it, then what? Holy urine isn't good enough to get me a job as a telemarketer).

Well, what did Thoreau's little stint in the woods have to do with writing...all right, I'm getting a little hyperbolic and angry which according to Aristotle: anger is not a persuasive means of rhetoric.


In conclusion, I ask all you Outlaw writers out there that have smoked marijuana and passed the piss test(nevermind, the CBEST, or SATs, or MCATs) to sound off like you have a pair and let the world know that you are in control of your surroundings and not vice-a-versa by letting the AUW(Association of Untalented Writers) know how to pass a PISS test.

PLEASE, be creative and nothing, fucking nothing, is too outrageous, gross, brutal, or what-have-you or have-you-not to put on this blog. SO LET RIP AND KEEP FREEDOM HIGH.(When they pass me that little cup I should just shit in it...so what? I piss shit, gotta problem with that?)

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